Wordless Wednesday - New Creative Space

 

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Making Do

I never thought I'd be a Stay at Home Mum. In fact, I never really even thought all that much about getting married and having children. I wasn't sure what I was going to do with myself, but it was probably geared towards finishing my degree and then either getting a job in advertising or owning my own business.

I've changed my mind since then and decided I'd quite like to be a librarian. I can't really think of any other job that I would enjoy and that would use my best skill, which is the ridicuous speed at which I read books. I pretty much love everything to do with books, I thought about working in publishing, in archives or as a copy editor and perhaps I'll still end up doing something like that too. Jobs that involve books also seem to be fairly transportable, which is important when you have to move around as much as you do in the military.

For now though I can't do any of that. I have no qualifications save my British A Levels in Psychology, English, Theatre Studies and Critical Thinking (which are apparently the equivalent of an associates degree in the States based on the level of the work, despite the fact that they are completed at age 18). I am not yet an American citizen, so I'm automatically disqualified from getting a job on post. Volunteer positions are awkward because I do not want to pay out to cover the cost of childcare while I work for free.

So for now I am making do, it is not something I feel as though I should let myself get frustrated about. I spend a lot of time doing independent research and learning about all sorts of things, I read non-fiction just about as much as I read fiction. I have started writing again, although not directly related to what I want to do it's something that I really enjoy doing and perhaps it will get me back in the swing of writing essays when the time comes to finish my degree.

I'm excited about writing, I've got a couple of articles in progress but the trouble comes with balancing everything. Being at home means that there's the endless amount of housework and of course my first priority being Mikey. I don't like to write while he is awake, I refuse to use the TV as a babysitter so that I can get some work done. I don't think it's fair. I do a bit of housework while he is around, he's getting to that age where he loves to "help" with a lot of things. It's slow moving, but he is learning and I am getting jobs done. We've also started doing a bit of homeschool preschool, not much at the moment though as I'm still researching it. At naptime I take time to relax, maybe write a blog post, do some yoga and just generally chill out for an hour or so. Then at night time I can finish up the housework and work on articles. It often feels as though there isn't enough time in the day to get everything done.

Anyway. Enough of that.

Yesterday I came across a wonderful website called IndieFixx who have started a Free Art Project. This is from their website -

News flash….the economy sucks. The stock market is up & down, people are losing their jobs and homes, all sorts of businesses are closing down & nobody seems to have any idea what the hell is going on. That’s the bad news…

Now for the good news. Even though the economy is tanking, it’s more important than ever to stay positive. We shouldn’t dwell on the negative news, it’s just not doing our souls any good. To that end, I came up Feed Your Soul: the free art project to hopefully bring a smile to your face and brighten your day.

There's some beautiful stuff on there, I've already downloaded a few for Mikey's bedroom and a couple to go in our hallway. Check it Out.

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lookie

I can has drawed a picature!

Seriously, I haven't drawn anything in literally years. It's not good, but it's not really bad either. Just drawn with a regular mechanical pencil. Perhaps I can remember how to do this?

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Painting

A lovely lady over at deviant art sent me a link to a painting that she has done using one of my photographs as a reference. It is absolutely beautiful (so much better than the photograph!) so I told her I'd link to it here.


Pink, rose, red, medley by ~livvlush on deviantART

Isn't it lovely? She inspired me to get out my old paintbrushes and have a go. Watch this space! haha

Edited to add:
I can't find the original photo anymore, it's really old. But after a quick google images search of my deviant art user name (divinedecay) it turns out someone used it for making a blog layout but cut it in half... so here's the half I found.

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PhotoBlog

The Therapist said I'd probably benefit from having something to "keep me on my toes". Something less introspective than a written blog, something that would bring me joy. So I've decided to start a PhotoBlog, I like taking photographs and I don't do it nearly so often as I should anymore. I'm heading into town today to find my first photograph (and to pick up some film and do a spot of retail therapy!), while Mikey is taking his nap I'll set up the blog and link it here.

I'm going to try and update it about 3 times per week. Wish me luck on my first photograph!


P.S. and THIS is a wonderful post on Simple Mom Today. It's just what I needed to read.


EDIT:

The PhotoBlog is up and running. You can get to it from the link in the sidebar or from here -



There is one photograph up there as of right now and I'm working on a second for today. I'm not too sure how tumblr (where the blog is hosted) works, so you'll have to bear with me, but it looks nifty.

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Modification and Decoration (Metamorphosis Monday)

Metamorphosis Monday Hosted by:

Finally we got some shelves to go up on the wall. So this next week I'll be fixing those up and finally finishing the livingroom, this day has been a long time coming. In fact a year, as of last Saturday I've been in Heidelberg for a year. This is the longest time I will have been in one home since I left my parents place oh so many years ago. In the past 5 years I have lived in 5 different houses in 3 different cities in 3 different countries, so it feels nice to be able to settle in for a bit.

I've had the left over curtain fabric from the livingroom hanging around for a while. I finally decided to use it to cover our disgusting diningroom chairs. The chairs are borrowed (military lending closet) so I can't do anything too crazy. Hell, I'd love to strip and re-stain them too. I'll just have to be satisfied with covering the gross, stained seat fabric until we get around to buying our very own dining set. Whenever that may be. I've done a quick job on one of them so far, with just fabric and tape, I didn't want to put any holes in them again because they're not ours. Will post before and after pictures when they're all done. It was easier than I expected actually, just had to unscrew the seat, wrap it like a birthday gift and screw it back on.

I also have a nice new mirror to put up, somewhere, and a new lamp. That's as far as I've gotten on my huge list of jobs! Man I suck.

Oh, and I made a table centerpiece type thing. Wasn't on the list but I found some gorgeous teacups that are pretty perfect for it, at least for now.

Finally got around to uploading the photos!

Before:


After:

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Names Have Been Changed to Protect the Innocent

I'm toying with this idea. I felt the desire to write something for the first time in a long long time. I only have a rough idea and the four bare beginning first-draft paragraphs. It's still the skeleton of an idea at this point, the skeleton being the truth and the story being the fictional flesh I intend to build around it. I'm not sure if the memory is still too raw to process, it has been years gone. But write what you know, you know?

Here goes -

I pressed the bare skin of my legs against the cool concrete of the rooftop garden as I laid down, shading my eyes and looking toward the ledge. There was no one else up here with me, but Alex would be arriving home from his fathers sometime within the next few minutes. I closed my eyes briefly before moving my gaze upward to the blue tarpaulin above my head, my eyes readjusting to the shade.

The rooftop garden wasn't a garden as such, at least it hadn't been originally intended that way. On afternoons like this the makeshift tarpaulin shade was the only refuge from the heat, the huge glass windows of my apartment along with the plastic siding only served to let in as much heat as possible during the summer. The apartment building had been aptly named, not without a sense of irony. I can only hope that the architect had never intended for The Glasshouse to be, well, like an actual glasshouse when hit with the full force of a British summer sun. It was an ugly building and stood out against the old paper factory that was alongside it. But the rent was cheap and it was close to the bustle of the city centre, that is why I lived there. I couldn't speak for Alex, he had no need to be so near to the city as he rarely left the apartment, save for his bi-monthly visit to his father. He didn't go out for groceries, preferring instead to get his food and alcohol delivered to his door, the latter of the two being more important to him. Even his dealer stopped by at his apartment every week or so. Alex had never been short on money either, so the rent for the place couldn't have been a particularly important deciding factor.

The rooftop garden had been a late discovery. One summer night last year, Alex and I had been drinking in his apartment with the windows wide open to let in the cool night air. We had fought, as we so often did, and I had climbed out of the window onto the balcony. He followed, so I had used the window ledge and balcony rail as footing and, precariously balanced for a split second, somehow propelled myself onto the roof (As time went on and I went up there more often, it became much easier to climb). He hadn't followed me that far, instead cursing and throwing the glass that held his vodka and coke over the side of the balcony. I heard it smash onto the concrete 5 floors below us followed by a slam as he angrily climbed back through the window and shut it behind him, still cursing to himself.

There hadn't been much up there that first time, a few lonely flower pots half filled with dried up soil and long dead plants, there was also the blue tarpaulin and a lot of bird shit. I remember at the time being particularly struck by how bright the city lights had been that night, an intoxicated haze had perhaps settled over my eyes by then and intensified it, but I remember how beautiful it was. I had crawled under the old tarpaulin and fallen asleep, to be woken early the next morning by Alex calling my name, his voice strained with worry and slurred slightly. He obviously hadn't slept and was probably still drunk. He was always like that, back and forth. I was sure that he hated me when he was drunk or high, but he also needed me. After all, nobody likes to really know that they're alone.

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Saturday Morning

Simple is beautiful.

Flowers - 2 Euros (Oh I wish I had a Garden) trimmed down and split to fit jars.
Jars - Recycled. (Pasta Sauce Jar, Soda bottle, Jack Daniels bottle)

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Crazy For Decorating

I am back in Germany!

I have been decorating the house with my spoils from an IKEA adventure. It's starting to look like a real home now, instead of just a place that happens to hold our stuff. I still have mine and Raidhyn's bedroom to finish, it needs curtains and a dresser. But I have finished Mikey's room, except for some pictures that need to go on the walls and just about finished the Living/Dining Room except for a couple of mirrors and a few nik naks!

Here is Mikey's room. Note the super awesome curtains and other fun things.



Here is the weird balcony but not a balcony type area (man it's hard to explain)



And finally the livingroom. We have a new computer desk for Raidhyn, he used to use a set of drawers as a desk. Also new curtains and rearranged furniture.

The Desk (a serious steal at 29 euros!)



The rest of it



Now I just need to put up some mirrors, put up some pictures and do the bedroom before Raidhyn comes home!

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Spring in Purple

My wallet was stolen last week. It sucks, everything was in there. Including my military ID and my Green Card. It costs around $400 to get a new Green Card. Yeah great. Lucky me. It was around this time last year that I lost my passport, I'm hoping this isn't turning into some sort of Spring tradition.

Aaaanyway, I took these photographs a couple of days ago. I only noticed today that they're all purple! It was completely on accident.
I love photographing Spring, my favourite thing to photograph is flowers so obviously spring is pretty perfect for me!

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Bluebells at Wistow Wood

Today my sister, Mikey and I spent the afternoon at Wistow Wood. The weather has been wonderful all week, it was absolutely beautiful at the wood today. It looks like something out of a fairy tale. Here are some photographs that my sister took of Mikey and I in the bluebells.

Me being a goof


Some of me and Mikey

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Monday Sun

It's been dreary most of the days so far here in England, with a smattering of sunshine here and there and a strong, cold wind. I've been trying to get out and take photographs while the sun shines, but the wind makes it difficult to do macros of flowers. They get blown around and it's hard to get a sharp image.

Today though there has been little to no wind, fantastic! Mikey and I headed right outside for photographs.


Although the boy got bored quickly.



He was getting cranky and ready for a nap, so I took him inside and put him to bed. I went back out for more photographs once he was sleeping soundly.

Model: Canon EOS 350D DIGITAL
Shutter Speed: 1/250 second
F Number: F/8.0
Focal Length: 60 mm
ISO Speed: 200

Tomorrow Mikey's Great Grandma is coming to visit for a week. The house is going to be packed, there haven't been this many people here for a long time.

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Art for the rich

Today my mum found some of my old painting materials in a closet. It reminded me of my mission to buy a few more before I head back to Germany. I have yet to find an art store in Heidelberg, this seems to be the easier way so long as the little tubes of acrylic paint don't burst in my suitcase on the way home.

Then I got to thinking of all of the different arts I enjoyed in school, particularly pottery and clay work. What I wouldn't give to have access to a potters wheel and a kiln now. I innocently thought I'd look up how much they'd cost on ebay. Not a chance in hell.

Painting materials aren't cheap either. Those little tubes of paint cost a lot of money and they're essentially lost money, what am I going to do with my "creation" after I've finished? Probably put it in a cupboard never to look at again. Or in the case of my paintings from school, behind the bookcase in the spare room of my parents house.

Then there's the hassle of finding somewhere to buy canvas, getting together (and probably having to build) the wood frames to stretch the stuff. All of that crap. Have to buy the wood, nails and various tools with which to create said frames.

But I do remember that at home I have rather a lot of scrap wood. When we arrived in Heidelberg the movers broke one of our tall bookcases in half. They also only delivered a few parts of our wooden bed frame so we were left unable to put it together. I still have to buy a saw to cut the pieces to size and some sandpaper to take off the gloss. But then surely I can paint right on those? Now that sounds like a plan. Not that I'd have anywhere to put hunks of wood splattered with acrylic paint... but that's all part of it right?

As for sculpting, there's always good ol' chicken wire and papier mache. That could work right?

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April is the cruellest month,

APRIL is the cruellest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.
Winter kept us warm, covering
Earth in forgetful snow, feeding
A little life with dried tubers.
Summer surprised us, coming over the Starnbergersee
With a shower of rain; we stopped in the colonnade,
And went on in sunlight, into the Hofgarten,
And drank coffee, and talked for an hour.
Bin gar keine Russin, stamm' aus Litauen, echt deutsch.
And when we were children, staying at the archduke's,
My cousin's, he took me out on a sled,
And I was frightened. He said, Marie,
Marie, hold on tight. And down we went.
In the mountains, there you feel free.
I read, much of the night, and go south in the winter. Excerpt from The Wasteland, T.S. Elliot

This month is National Poetry Month. To celebrate, The New York Review of Books has chosen 30 poems from the archives and will be posting one daily. I am in love with today's.

Sunday Papers

By Charles Simic

The butchery of the innocent
Never stops. That's about all
We can be ever sure of, love,
Even more sure than the roast
You are bringing out the oven.

It's Sunday. The congregation
Files slowly out of the church
Across the street. A good many
Carry Bibles in their hands.
It's the vague desire for truth
And the mighty fear of it
That makes them turn up
Despite the glorious spring weather.

In the hallway, the old mutt
Just now had the honesty
To growl at his own image in the mirror,
Before lumbering to the kitchen
Where the lamb roast sat
In your outstretched hands
Smelling of garlic and rosemary.

Yep.
I have another flower picture for you.

And some awesome tadpoles that are in my dad's pond. The big black bit in the first one, if you can't see it properly, is all tadpoles... loads of them.

And Dad's Beehives. There were lots of Bees flying around, but you can't really see on the picture.

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Spring Flowers

What can I say. Mikey napped and it was sunny. Used my dad's Canon 350D and 60mm Macro.

Oh and the night before last Mikey slept from 9pm until 6am. Some kind of miracle or something. I dunno.

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Grumpy boy plays outside

Mikey has been a big grump the past couple of days. He's sleeping even less, but he's probably just upset at being somewhere different. He was good on the flight over, slept most of the time and didn't cry at all.

The weather is nice, cold but bright. Spring is a little further underway here than in Germany, blossom is out on the trees!

Mikey made friends with Kitty, he calls her "Eeegey". He thinks her tail is funny and her fur is nice and soft.


He also had fun playing on and with the grass.

My little Elvis boy! The sun was in his eyes.


Eating some cookies in Grandma's (unfinished) kitchen

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