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sleeping

I spoke to the neighbours on Monday and they were surprisingly understanding. Hopefully they'll be just as understanding after a weeks worth of crying nights.

It's thursday and he is still waking every 2 hours and crying. He is crying right now and I'm wearing earplugs. I am exhausted, he is exhausted. I wont wear earplugs while I sleep though because I'm terrified that he will hurt himself or something and I wouldn't hear him. He's quite the climber and I am just waiting for the day or night when he realises he can climb out of his crib. So I keep waking up and having to listen to him cry every 2 hours or so throughout the night.

We visited the pediatrician today to rule out any medical causes for night waking. She gave him a clean bill of health and told me to continue what I have been doing. So I am, on our 4th night of crying. I feel so awful that this is the only thing left I can do. Urgh, it tears my heart right up.

Aside from this sleep thing everything else is going well in life. I have been getting a whole load of exercise, walking pretty much everywhere. Mikey has a very cute new found love of dogs, every time we see one he says "ooooo" in a cute little voice and will stare at it and sometimes wave. He got to pet a 6 month old St Bernard a few days ago while we were out walking and he thought it was awesome!

He also loves to watch the trains when we walk along a path that takes us by the tracks. His favourites are the really long red ones!

Tonight we started an extra long and lovely bedtime routine. I used to show him videos of his daddy, then nurse him then put him in his bed. His pediatrician suggested an hour long calming routine. So we ate dinner, we played quietly with a puzzle. Then we had a nice bath (where he splashed around and managed to soak both me and the bath mat) and got into jammies. Then watched videos of daddy, drank some camomile tea, sang some nursery rhymes and read 2 books. Finally nursed and put him in bed.

It was lovely singing and reading the books with him. He cuddled up with me and laid his head on my chest while I sang and read to him, which is something he doesn't normally do at all. He's normally a very wriggly little boy!

*sigh* and now it's early to bed for me. Fingers crossed that Mikey sleeps for at least a 4 hour stretch. That would be heaven.

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I am a 24 year old British stay at home mother to a two year old boy. Married to a U.S. soldier and currently living in Germany.

I have seen the Vatican from the very top of St Peter's Basilica, the mud in the World War I trenches outside Ypres. I have walked through Montmartre side streets bustling with people in the evening, gotten lost in the streets of Greenwich Village NYC, run through cornfields on the Welsh border and sat outside with a cup of tea watching fireflies in the fields of the outer Chicago suburbs.

I have held the hands of others through addiction, fear, suicide, despair and come out the other side. I have left everything behind to begin anew.
I have fought mental illness and walked through snow in the mountains of the lake district, England. I have explored the morgue in the bowels of an abandoned hospital on a summer evening, climbed to the top of scaffolding on the outside of a five floor warehouse to look at the city lights of Nottingham at night and I have watched the sun setting on the Texas horizon.

I have held my son's tiny hand through the plastic window on an isolette in the NICU ward. Walked, speaking only in whispers, through the catacombs beneath the ground on the outskirts of Rome and seen the fireworks over Heidelberg castle.

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