My friend and I ventured out to a flea market again yesterday, the weather was lovely and we managed to pick up quite a few goodies including a balance bike for Mikey that looks brand new but only cost 8 euros. He hasn't been able to go on it yet because we need to find a wrench to adjust the seat, but he loves it very much and has been wheeling it all around the house.
Here are some of the other goodies that we purchased, all were very cheap. We also got a couple of planters and a decorative pottery wall hanging thing for 50c.
I'm up early again, this seems to be a reoccurring theme. I got up at 5am and it's now around 6.15, I like how quiet it is at this time of day.
I find it odd the way that my OCD works. When you think of someone with the condition you imagine an immaculate house, someone who is obsessive about germs and cleaning, things being orderly and tidy. That is just not the case for me at all.
In early January I forgot to get a refill on my meds and by about day three I devolved back into a mess, complete with withdrawal symptoms on top of that. The house was in a real state, I didn't cook, I didn't really do anything except stew in obsessive thoughts for hours.
I finally went and got a refill and things returned to normal with a vengeance. I cleaned the house from top to bottom, even the bedrooms which I hate doing, and started a whole slew of different creative projects.
I'm currently in the middle of knitting a soft toy rabbit for Mikey, nearly finished it! I have some beautiful new yarn in queue for other knitting projects that I'm really looking forward to starting. I have designs drawn up for a bookshelf for Mikey's books, I'm so sick of picking them up off of the floor! I have a design drawn up for an applique window seat cover for Mikey's bedroom. I've got a skirt sewing pattern that I drew up, waiting for some lovely fabric to fall into my arms and onto my sewing machine.
I mentioned my cooking list in the last blog post, I've got some new dishes and things for taking food photographs and have grand ideas for a studio set-up in the spare room to house all of these projects. At the moment they're spread over various portions of the house and the spare room is doing nothing whatsoever. Scouring the newspaper for old desks to use and things like that! I've also been a lot more creative with my actual cooking, making things up as I go along (with the help of my flavour bible) and having a great time of it all.
Mikey has been loving the snow, we keep going out to play in it and he loves nothing more than to just stomp through it in his boots! Shame it's raining now and the snow is melting away.
But despite the somewhat shaky, un-medicated start of 2010 things seem to be settling down into a wonderful rhythm.
I really try not to post on weekends usually, but yesterday I was pissed off and today is my wedding anniversary! Plus this was pre-written last week so I'm not taking any time out of our day, which is a good thing!
"Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product."
mind⋅ful
/ˈmaɪndfəl/ [mahynd-fuhl]
–adjective
attentive, aware, or careful (usually fol. by of): mindful of one's responsibilities.
Origin:
1375–1425; late ME mindeful.
Related forms:
mind⋅ful⋅ly, adverb
mind⋅ful⋅ness, noun
Synonyms:
heedful, thoughtful, regardful.
The end of December 2006
In Nottingham, England, I packed up the possessions in my house into boxes and bags, giving away or selling things that I would not be able to take with me. I was abandoning my university studies after a year and a half, and altogether too much of my own hard earned money. I had not managed to find someone else to rent my attic room so that I could break the contract, the person I had lined up let me down at the last minute. I left anyway, leaving behind posters on the walls and furniture scattered around the room, perhaps the free furniture could be an apology to the people who I shared the house with. They would have to find someone new to take my room.
The MacBook is back from the dead! Thanks to the lovely young man at the PowerZone on post who let me fiddle around with parts of the display computers and my computer to discover what was wrong and then finding me a new power cord, which was the problem. The wires had broken off inside. I never ever thought I'd actually be praising the PowerZone.
The past two days I've been cuddling with Mikey on the couch, poor little boy has been very sick. On Sunday he woke up lethargic with a burning fever, he couldn't keep any food or liquid down for most of the day and projectile vomited on me several times. On Monday he was a little better, his fever was still there but lower and we watched cartoons and drank copious amounts of tea. The husband said to me as he made a huge mug of tea, "More Tea equals More Better." He's so right.
So I haven't managed to get anything much done, but that's alright I guess. I had intended to have a baking day on Sunday, but I'll be doing that this afternoon instead. Lots of cookies for the husband to take to the office with him, aren't I a good little wifey? Secretly I will eat half of them myself.
What? This winter is a cold one, I need the extra fat layers.
I did manage to get some knitting done though, have you any idea how difficult it is to knit when you have a little boy who likes to be involved in everything? It's slow going and tangled. I should have my little project done by the new year. I'll show you when it's finished, it's one of my secret projects.
Loving this Van Gogh sketch and letter.
Parsonage garden with trees in blossom
To Theo from Nuenen
April 1884
"I send you herewith a croquis of a painting I’m working on with some others — this is an effect of trees in blossom in the late afternoon. [..]
You mustn’t, whatever you do, think that I have great expectations regarding the appreciation of my work — I believe one must be satisfied if one gets to the point where one can persuade a few people of the soundness of what one is striving for and is understood by them, without exaggerated praise.
And the rest is a matter of, if something comes of it so much the better, but something that one should even think about as little as possible. But still I believe the work has to be seen, precisely because the few friends can settle out from the stream of passers-by. One doesn’t have to be guided by what the majority say or do, though."
Ok, so let me just admit right now, straight off the bat. My attempt at NaNoWriMo was a washout. Not only do I not have the attention span to write something of that length, but my efforts were also thwarted by goings on at home, Mikey deciding to stop sleeping and then illness. I haven't written anything to do with my novel for about a week, I did get further than I expected though. It turns out that this attempt was the most words I've ever written for one project. Blasts my 10,000 school essays out of the water, so that's something.
I did not plan the novel well, I had nothing before I started writing it which really hindered my efforts. I may still finish it one day, but not today.
While writing it, however, I was blessed with pure unadulterated inspiration. The most magical idea for a children's book. I adore children's literature, I'm not talking about teen lit, which I dislike for the most part, or board books for babies because for the most part they're pretty dull. But things written for children between the ages of 4 and 11, I could just sit in the children's section of the library and read all day.
As I don't have an older child of my own, I'm going to have to ask here. What sort of books do your older children enjoy?
I'm still sick, but it's getting better. A weekend of playing the new Mario game for Wii and generally resting has been lovely, the husband even announced that Saturday was my day off and didn't let me do anything. How sweet!
We got all of our groceries for Thanksgiving, I need to write out my cooking schedule and I'm going to start cooking on Wednesday. I'm excited but nervous, I haven't ever cooked for this many people before. I don't need to make dessert as one of our guests told us that he makes a mean pumpkin cheesecake and is going to bring some. That is a godsend for me because honestly I am so bad at making sweet things, which is a shame for someone with such a sweet tooth.
Talking of sweet things, I have been either over-indulging or not getting enough exercise because my plan of fattening up like a bear for winter has gotten ahead of itself. I'm getting more wobbly around the edges. I blame all of the lovely autumn/winter food and the fact that I can't walk as much because of the weather. It's ok though, the extra layers are keeping me warm.
Today is the beginning of a whole new era for Mikey. I'm starting to wean him, it's going to be interesting as it's the only way he knows how to get to sleep and that's the only time he nurses. But lately he has been refusing to nurse because he doesn't want to go to sleep, so it seems as good a time as any to wean him. We're going to be taking the side off of his crib and doing a new bedtime routine. I'm guessing it will take a couple of weeks before he gets the hang of it. For what seems like the millionth time, I'm getting out all of the sleep guides and manuals to try and work out a good routine for him. Poor baby really isn't much into sleeping, there's so much other stuff that he wants to do. I think I will be so exhausted from the effort that I'll end up falling asleep in his room with him anyway. It's totally worth it to get my boobs back to myself after nearly 2 years but it seems like only yesterday I was exclusively pumping and battling to actually get him to do it.
I woke up before everyone else this morning, it was only 7am but I really enjoy how quiet the house is in the mornings. It was clean because no one had yet woken up to trash it, I made myself some coffee and read some blogs before starting to write this. I think if I went to bed earlier I'd quite like to get up before everyone every day, I really feel like it gives me a headstart. I think my husband has pretty much the opposite body clock to me though because he likes to stay up late and sleep in. Perhaps when Mikey starts sleeping through the night I'll be rested enough to get up early every day. I have my fingers crossed that weaning him will really help, after all why wake up if there's nothing to wake up for?
Mikey just woke up and is pretending to talk on the phone. He's talking to Elly from his favourite cartoon. He says "Hi Elly, *incomprehensible chatter*, uh huh, uh huh, *chatter* no, bye!" He's really an explosion of words these days. I have to go because it's breakfast time!
I hope everyone had a great weekend!
Ever have one of those days? Stupid question, I'm sure everyone has.
Today I woke up with a sore throat and blocked sinuses. I dragged myself heavily through a day where nothing seemed to go right, I suppose that happens when you're feeling under the weather. I burned my lunch, accidentally put something in the dryer that wasn't meant to be there, Mikey whined all day even at the park. All I wanted to do this evening was curl up in my pajamas with a nice cup of tea, ginger and lemon, perfect for colds. Perhaps re-watch the last episode of Criminal Minds, because my teen crush was in it. Although he's looking a bit worn out these days, I didn't recognise him at first.
Anyway, Mikey had other plans. It's now 11pm and I just got him down to sleep, it's taken since 9pm with plenty of screaming and crying (mostly his).
I'm now finally making my tea and I'm going to lounge around reading some blogs for an hour or so and then go to sleep.
At the moment I'm reading:
Serene Journey
Raptitude and
Zen Family Habits.
Searching for some kind of inspiration.
You know, one thing that went wrong today turned out pretty good anyway. I bought the wrong kind of sugar from the German store on accident, instead of normal granulated I bought sugar lumps. Adding sugar lumps to tea is much more fun that regular sugar, plus if you're so inclined you can try and balance them on the tea bag, watch them soak up the tea and make bets on how long they'll stay there (a surprisingly long time).
Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace.
- The Buddha
Mindfulness is the aware, balanced acceptance of the present experience.
It isn't more complicated that that.
It is opening to or receiving the present moment, pleasant or unpleasant, just as it is,
without either clinging to it or rejecting it.
- Sylvia Boorstein
"Fairy tales are more than true — not because they tell us dragons exist, but because they tell us dragons can be beaten."Read more...
- G. K. Chesterton
It's that time again folks!
This morning a man with a tractor vacuum type thing came and stole all of our leaves!
I am beyond upset... even though they were wet and starting to rot. He messed up the grass too, now it resembles a mud pit. Time for mud pies maybe?
I am obsessing over Origami at the moment. Just one of those things I guess.
I mentioned before that Mikey is sick? He's not. He's getting his final molars in, all 4 at once. I haven't slept this little since he was a newborn. Ok that's a lie, I'm not sure I slept at all when he was a newborn. On Saturday night he woke at midnight. He didn't go back to sleep, despite our very best efforts, until 5am. We did watch Monsters Inc though... I think Mikey is in love with B
oo (that's his nickname as well... well he's Boo Monster.)
Isn't Squash awesome? We're going to have had butternut squash two nights in a row. Yesterday was a recipe of my own invention, it involved Butternut Squash and Bacon. I know you're dying to find out what it was. Check back on Friday, I'll be posting the recipe along with my Thanksgiving menu and trial run results. Yes I'm doing trial runs of almost everything! Spaghetti Squash is totally weird. I'm waiting for an excuse to use some in cooking, but haven't found a recipe I like yet.
When the weather starts getting gloomy, I like to crack out the literary classics. I've no idea why I do things this way, but summer tends to be for modern novels and winter for classics. I'm going to be re-reading some Dickens, Austen (even though I don't like her, maybe I've changed my mind since studying her in school. I didn't like soap operas back then). Then on the list we've got some Bronte sisters, Shelley and HG Wells.
You know, camera companies like to trick you. Yes they do. They tell you that you have to spend lots of money on a camera if you want to take good photos. Now if you're a professional then sure. The hubby uses a crazy expensive Nikon army issue camera. And sure, if you have the money to spend on expensive cameras then go for it. I used to have a Canon 350D before it was stolen from the hospital while Mikey was in the NICU. Now I use my vintage film cameras (none of which cost over $10) and my trusty Canon PowerShot SD1000.It wasn't as expensive as the one I just linked to. It was more like $150. Don't know why that one is so pricey. Don't get me wrong, I'd love a new SLR, but immigration is an expensive business. Trust me when I say I could have bought two of the camera I want and still not reached the amount we're spending on immigration paperwork. True Story.
Anywaaaaay. It's a point and click compact cam... except I use it on manual. Although it would be nice to not have to cheat around the cameras autofocus to get what I want out of it. I have to set it to one point focus... usually in the middle. Focus on exactly what I want with the center point autofocus and then caaaaaaarefully move the camera to the angle I want without changing to distance between the camera and the object. *yawn*
Here are some shots of a couple of my lovely vintage cameras... and a brooch I bought to use in making my scarflet.
While writing some more of my NaNoWriMo novel last night, (I'm over 10,000 words now!) I was suddenly reminded of something that happened a long time ago. One of my characters reminds me a little of someone that I used to know, I had to stop writing because I couldn't concentrate anymore. Instead I felt compelled to write out this little story.
When I was 18 years old, nearing 19, I was at an acquaintance's birthday party. He was someone that worked with my boyfriend at the time, in the bike repair shop, and he was just turning 18. It was summer, so the party was outside in a marquee type thing. Fancy dress, I can't remember what I dressed as but my boyfriend refused to do fancy dress because I suppose that he felt that it imposed on his manliness somehow. There were a group of us - my best friend, who shares my first name and was dressed as a fairy, another guy that my boyfriend worked with who was dressed as a Nazi soldier and there was Ed, who was about 3 years older than us.It's funny, that night was amazing and I'm not really sure why. I still remember it vividly 6 years later. I only met the guy once and he had such an impact on the way I live now, the way I see things, what music I like and what books I like to read.
The guy dressed as a Nazi got disgustingly drunk, the party was a washout mostly although the younger kids seemed to be enjoying themselves. We ended up sat at "the grown-up's table". Ed was the guy who introduced me to The Beat Poets, this is when we sat and discussed them. He was flirting outrageously with my best friend too. My boyfriend was sulking, as he so often did. The guy dressed as a Nazi had to be taken home, he was supposed to go home with Ed and we were all desperate to leave anyway so we started to walk him home.
After we dropped him off at his house, Ed asked us if we'd like to come over to his and have some drinks. It was about midnight and we didn't feel much like going home at that point so we went with him. We walked to his house, he said it was just up the street. It was, but the street turned into a dirt track that led through a field. In the field was an old falling down house with its windows boarded up, the front door had an enormous padlock on it, Ed said that was because people liked to come out here and vandalize his house.
Ed unlocked the padlock and opened the door, we all stepped in one after the other and Ed flipped the light on. Inside the house looked in similar condition to the outside, the wallpaper was peeling off and the floor was concrete. The kitchen had only a stove, microwave, sink and a couple of tables. We went upstairs to Ed's room, we passed his older brother who was getting ready to leave to go see his girlfriend.
Ed's room was small, one wall was lined almost entirely from floor to ceiling with old records and CD's, another wall with books. His bed was pushed up against the wall and there were more books underneath. He put on some music, I think it was Joanna Newsom, and lit up a joint, we passed it around and talked for a while.
Later we went downstairs, through the kitchen into the back room. The room was big, easily three times the size of Ed's bedroom. It was filled with recording equipment and musical instruments, there were tatty Persian rugs lining the floor. Ed made us all some tea in the kitchen and we started to pick up instruments and mess around with them. I played something on the piano and as I did, my best friend started to join me by tapping on one of the drums. Ed laughed and rooted around in the back for something. He eventually pulled out a silver saxophone and handed it to my best friend, she plays a lot of instruments including the saxophone, clarinet and piano. She is actually a music teacher now.
Ed handed an electric guitar to my boyfriend and plugged it into a nearby amp before sitting down himself behind the drum kit. We didn't speak to one another, Ed started tapping out a beat on the snare drum. I started playing on the piano, my boyfriend joined in on guitar and then finally my best friend joined in on the saxophone.
We ended up jamming all night, playing Jazz. We played until 5am, before we started to get tired and decided we had to go home.
I never saw Ed again, my best friend went back to his house a couple of times to see him before she left for college.
I'm at 7273 words as of 10pm tonight. I'm still a little behind, but managed to write a lot more than I thought I would. Especially considering that Mikey is sick and has been waking up a lot last night and tonight. I really want to be caught up by next week, I might talk the husband into letting me toddle off somewhere, sans l'enfant, to do some writing this weekend.
The story is really starting to write itself though. I have trouble with dialogue, it always sounds so ridiculously fake when I write it. But that's something that can be cleaned up post-November. For a story starting with no real plot, I've surprised myself with the way my main character has led me and what she's gotten herself into so far.
For those who are remotely interested, I wrote a kind of synopsis for it tonight. Drumroll Please.
Read more...Shadow Box
My name is Danielle, but you don't need to remember that, it's not really all that important in the scheme of things. When I was nine years old, I was given a shadow box. It used to belong to my grandfather and his father before him. The frame was a dark wood and parts of it were beginning to crack with wear. Under the glass were 6 dead moths, neatly spaced and pinned to the black backing, with their Latin names written in scrawled handwriting on small, faded pieces of paper attached underneath each moth.
I had to sell the shadow box eventually, it was the only thing I had left that was worth anything and I was in trouble. Alex bought it back from the guy I'd sold it to and left it outside my apartment a few nights later, wrapped in gaudy paper, for me to find. I didn't want it as a gift from him, I couldn't accept anything from him or I'd end up like one of those moths. Lovingly placed under the glass and neatly pinned to the backing.
Now that the colder weather is approaching, I've started to make like a bear and fatten myself up. I'm totally drawn to fatty foods during autumn and winter, I know I'd be cold if I didn't put on that extra layer of fat every year to help insulate. I'm also hiding foods around the house like a squirrel, then I come across them later and eat them.
I'm totally procrastinating NaNoWriMo. I'm already behind on the word count and it's only the 3rd day, I played with some ideas yesterday but didn't get any actual writing done. I did come up with a title and base concept though. The title is now "Shadow Box". I'll give you a synopsis when I have something more cohesive, but I can say that it's pretty much a character study rather than a plot driven novel.
Now I said that I was procrastinating, but my husband is far worse. He has been talking to me about his novel constantly for the past 3 days, but he has yet to put a word down or to even sign up on the NaNoWriMo website. So I think he wins this procrastination game.
I'm kinda getting back into Graphic Design. It's some form of NaNoWriMo procrastination. I'm working on a couple of things that I'll put up here for download at some point. I'm still not too hot at using Adobe InDesign so it's slow going. Graphic Design was so much easier in school when we could just draw it or make a model. For my Graphic Design class, years ago, I made a full scale model of a Cyber Cafe I designed. The model even had working lights. Yep.
Mikey has recently started putting together two word sentences. This is a really awesome part of his speech development and he seems so much easier to communicate with. He's having trouble with the order of his syllables though, which is quite cute. Sometimes instead of "Mama, Bye!" he'll say "Bama, Mye!" Instead of saying "Bye Ellie!" (when we turn off his favourite DVD) he just says "Bebellie!"
I just remembered a story my granddad told me when I visited last. It's the story of why his side of the family is not religious. Well it's kind of two stories. One story involves an ancestor being conned out of a lot of money by the "church" to build some kind of ridiculous statue. The other story is more weird, if they didn't learn their lesson by being conned, one of my ancestors was also struck by lightning while fixing his local churches roof. Now my granddad is quite good at embellishing stories, but (in the mood of the movie "Big Fish") It's sometimes more interesting to believe the stories as he tells them, I'm sure the correct version isn't nearly as good.
He also has told me so many times over the years that his side of the family is descended from King Æthelred the Unready (Æþelræd Unræd), an Anglo Saxon King of England who reigned from 978 to 1016. One of Æthelred's sons was Edward the Confessor (as referred to in Shakespeare's Macbeth as the Saintly King of England) who was one of the last Anglo Saxon kings of England, and up until 1348 was also considered the patron saint of England (he was replaced by Saint George and is now the patron saint of kings instead). Edward is also featured in one of the first panels of the Bayeux Tapestry. Edward the Confessor sounds like a decent enough guy but Æthelred was apparently a bit rubbish. The family name on my mum's side is supposedly linked to him though. What weird ancestors to have if it's true. Don't know much about the name from my dad's side apart from it's Scottish/Celtic and supposed to have something to do with rival clans.
For more Random, head on over to the unmom!
November has crept up on me faster than I expected and I'm completely unprepared. This year I'm participating in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) for the first time, after saying I'll do it for years. For those of you who have no idea what this is, the gist of it is that I need to write a 50,000 word novel in the 30 days of November. Admittedly it doesn't have to be good and in that sort of time frame I'd be surprised if it was. But I just need to get it out.
Thing is, I've done absolutely no prep work for it. I don't even have an idea. I need to come up with something between now and midnight Saturday! We're heading to the library tomorrow, so maybe I'll find some inspiration. I'm seriously considering Sci-Fi at the moment, perhaps some SteamPunk. Every time I seem to think of something at the moment, I realise about a minute later that it's from a film I saw or a book, or a graphic novel I read. Perhaps I'm panicking.
50,000 words in 30 days sounds like a lot. I guess it is, but it's 1,667 words per day. That's not bad. That's like an extended blog post every day. The only things I'll need to battle with will be inspiration and possible writers block.
So I don't know how much I'll be posting here come November. I'll probably keep things much the same as they have been this past month. We'll see.
Wish me luck!
And if you're taking part you can add me as a buddy here. I don't have any buddies yet so I'm a little lonely, haha.
Finally here are a couple of shots I took today while outside playing with Mikey.
