Connect 4

Remember that game? Raidhyn, for some reason, thought it would be fun if we bought it for Mikey to play with. He was right, although Mikey is only 23 months old and can't actually play it properly, he love love loves putting the little coins in the slots. He's had some fine motor issues (just a bit behind), so I think it might actually help him. He's already getting better at it, and wow does it keep him quiet for like 10 minutes! Until the time comes for me to walk past what he's doing and trip over coins. I think between that, the lego and toy cars, my feet are ripped to shreds and don't even talk to me about having to pick up all of the pieces.

Last night I played Left for Dead with the hubby and one of his friends (who was playing online). I think I shot them more than I did the zombies, I'm no good with Xbox controllers. One stick to look and another to move is a bit much for me. The boys were very sweet about it though, putting up with my girl questions and comments, "How do I shoot?!" "How do I reload?!" "Oh, I'm stuck... how do I stop looking up?!" "Oh the bad guy got me again! Help me!" I think Raidhyn just wants me to play again, he told me I did very well (yeah right!) for someone who doesn't play those sort of games EVER.

Raidhyn is away "learning to to teach preggo PT" for a few days this week. Yesterday he came home and said "I learned about Kegel exercises!" Oh wow. I just sniggered to myself imagining a room full of soldiers learning how to do those. Yeah...


And i'd just like to add... i started sanding down the end table from Mikey's room. By Hand. I need to buy a sander machine thing. This is hard work.


P.S. Where does one apply to be excused from Army Wife / Ridiculous Little Girl (who, ZOMG, like, loved highschool and college so much she wants to relive it for the rest of her life) Drama 101?

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Precipices, Internet Meme, and the 1UP Debocle

Ok people, so first off i just want to thank my wife and those cook books below. Because despite my once past ghastly-emo-like appearance, I am now dining on fine cuisine every evening home cooked for me by a sexy Brit with a hot accent.

Now how many game-addicts can say that ?

Debocle

As i thought.

Bitches.

Anyway so today was decidedly hilarious. After a stressful afternoon I returned to work and was immediately confronted with a question posed by my good friend Clare.

"Hey Nichols, have you ever been Rick Rolled?"

I laughed "Who hasn't?"

Apparently my good friend Clare had just discovered the meaning of the verb Rickrolled. Which is HILARIOUS. Like yesterday when he discovered where roflcopter came from. Freaking roflcopter man.

That's like not understanding zomg.

Also another co-worker asked me what Twitter is.

Apparently I'm quickly becoming the internet culture guru at work. This idea quickly became confirmed when Clare asked me if I felt like i was part of internet culture. I quickly informed him that "I play fucking online games man, you know this, I'm not part of it, I am it."

Needless to say it was all very humorus.

Which was good, because earlier that afternoon I discovered THIS appalling story

It's sad. As a blogger who rants about games wishing that he could someday get paid to write about games, this is really really sad. Especially considering how prestigious and well respected 1up.com is among game journalism sites...to be bought by the damn corporation that owns fucking Cosmopolitan, Seventeen, and fucking Country Living.

Oh and Teen.

Awww shit and Popular Mechanics.

In other words, something I loved was absorbed by an entity I hate.

Not to mention that 25 journalists lost their jobs. Guess I'll be staying in the military a bit longer, and to think i thought the economic crisis wouldn't effect me.

*sigh*

Anyway, Fatal Frame IV is supposed to be arriving for the Wii this year sometime. If you haven't heard of Fatal Frame it's because you obviously don't care about the survival horror genre of games or photography, or possibly both. It's one of the scariest, creepiest, unnerving game series I've ever played, and I say this because I only got through about 4 hours of it before I had to quit forever.

Case in point, it has great terrifying effects on people.

I can't wait for it to come out :)

Chrono Trigger is still on my wish list for the DS as is a perpetual slew of Wii and Gamecube games that will be far too expensive for me to buy in one go, much less right now.

So instead I'll be playing my newly acquired Penny Arcade game, and enjoying the hell out of it I'm sure.

Sorry today was kind of a rant but I'm in a hurry ;)

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Penny

So after about a month of hard, long, and extremely humorous readings I have finally caught up on EVERY Penny Arcade comic on their Archive over the last 10 years. 10 years of funny comics about games/gamers are now a firm part of my humor archives and I am sure will have negative effects on myself and everyone around me for years and years to come.

I've discovered that I have been starting to treat games the way that a lot of people treat movies. They watch it, they buy it, then they shelve it along with the rest of their DvDs until...until...one day you pull down that beloved copy of Mega Man 2 off of your virtual console bookshelf for the low cost of 5 bucks and for the next few hours relieve the same joy and happiness you felt as 8 year old playing it oh so long ago...tears ran down my cheeks.

Mega Man 2 taught me a very plain and simple truth, that you only need two buttons on a goddamn controller.

Jump, and Pwn.

Also during my Mega Man 2 spree the other night, I remember saying this over and over

"I'm old now! WHY ISN'T THIS ANY FUCKING EASIER!?!?!?!?"

I'm afraid that even though i already have all of the Roms for NES and SNES on my computer and I could go get another HDMI cable and just plug my computer into my TV and play with my dual analog logitech game pad thing...I'm afraid that the virtual console makes it way too encouraging to buy old games I could be playing for free.

Games with names of legend, like fucking Ninja Gaiden, The Legend Of Zelda, Super Metroid. Games that make you shiver with joy at the sight of them.

At least for me.

Been playing Super Mario RPG too, a game that is pure genius. Why you ask? Well for one, there aren't 45 minute long boss fights or spell animations that last longer than the life span of my 1 year old child, and there's no confusing stat concepts or weird upgrade systems. It's an RPG, in it's most basic and gratifying form. Good characters, good story, constant power-ups, and the pacing is just perfect.

Pacing people pacing.

Anyway, i'm done. I have to go see my lawer now about laws and money and damn cars again.

Then when i get home. It's zombie killing time.

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Wii have it!

So this Christmas / Anniversary i somehow managed my wife to let me buy us a Wii. I don't know how I did it. Well ok, i kind of do. Here's my secrets.

1. Torture her for months about it, but never make it the focus.

For instance, bring up how you played it at a friends house, and then when she says something like "Oh, i think it would be fun to have a Wii! It seems like a great game system, way better than your XBOX360 because it's family oriented!" do something like

IMMEDIATELY CHANGE THE SUBJECT

2. Bring up the Wii Fit in a sneaky guy way, like showing your wife the quasi-porn-like videos on Spike TV of playboy bunnies working out on it. (Yes, these videos do exist) then when she says something like "Oh that looks like fun actually" or "OMG YOGA DROOL" say something like "yeah, it does but they're really hard to get." and then let the subject fade away. She THINKS you're watching lame guy videos but your actually sub consciously injecting her brain with what i like to call "Wii-Waves"

If she says something like "HONEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING WATCHING THESE KINDS OF VIDEOS AND WHERE IS MY DIVORCE-STICK" then, well, you're fighting a loosing battle.

3. Mention how you actually save money by buying a Wii. Firstly, it's half the price of a PS3. Secondly it plays gamecube games AND you can download N64, SNES, and NES games on it. So essentially you're saving around 1000 dollars by buying it.

4. Throughout the months moan about how they're always sold out, and they're really hard to find and you should probably pre-order one from somewhere but you don't really have the money.

5. Wait for your wive's women friends to do the rest of the work for you. All you need is a couple people around who have the system, and they will be inadvertantly sending Wii-Waves like carpet bombs in your wife's direction.

6. When you take your wife to the store one day and there's a Wii on the shelf. Jump on it. This is a once in a lifetime oppourtunity dear, we may never see another one again, and for God's sake don't forget about the Wii Fit i'm going to buy you!

7. If all else fails at the clinching moment, buy a copy of Animal Crossing and explain to her how she can decorate her own house and plant flowers and she'll be sold.


In the mean time, I'm going to go play Wii now, and check the prices of Turnips on Animal Crossing and dodge punches from Bex once she reads this.

Also, Flock Blog Editing skills is ACTUALLY WORKING.

Gotta love it.

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Nothing quite like it....

There's nothing quite like the first few hours of playing a brand new video game.

The first hour in paticular.

These days video games are designed with the idea of the player having an 'experience' more so than just playing a game. The first hour of a video game is like the first 5 minutes of a block buster movie. It sets the stage for all of the greatness that is to come, it gets you excited about what could be ahead.

And nothing is quite as relaxing and completely enjoyable as being exposed to a whole new setting and experience...from the comfort of my chair in the living room.

I always get excited. And i always get sad that Bex and Mikey don't get as excited as I am because i want to share the excitement. I want them to feel the glee that I'm feeling! But bex is too busy hunting down posts on random message boards, and mikey is too busy trying to chew on something to care or notice.

This has in part been brought on by my anticipation for Fable II arriving in the mail. The more I order games through the mail here the more and more i painfully bemoan the US Army postal system. What i could get same day in the states takes a week to get here, and on top of that Amazon always tells me that my stuff is going to arrive long before it actually does forcing me to spend 1 to 6 days in complete agony while I wait for my parcel to wade through the mud of the Army Postal System.

It's just ONE XBOX 360 DvD...what could be so hard about getting it into my eager hands?

I'm hoping that Fable II is all that I've hyped it up to be. Yes, that I've hyped it up to be. I've played the first game on my Computer and have enjoyed it despite it being pretty old and kind of annoying to play with a mouse and keyboard. I've been helplessly shuffling through all of my 360 games trying to find an old already played through title that can hold my interest again, but as soon as i drop an hour into one i'm thinking about another and it's all ever so terrible.

I've been wanting to play warhammer online again but am still searching for a good guild to join. We tried playing WoW again and that was fun for a little while but I can't bear to play if my wife can't , and Bex can't play unless we drop a few grand on a new computer because the laptop she was meant to play on is so old now it only works as an .avi - S-Cable - TV proxy for watching anime on.

Terrible i tell you.

So here I am, restless and everything. Damn it all.

Maybe they will have dug it out of the new mail between when I checked it at 2:30 and when it closes at 5...hrm...

Here's hoping.

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Daily Declaration and Rants about RvR

So i've discovered something recently during my adventures through the blogosphere of words and rantiness.

I only like returning to the ones I know get updated daily. I mean, otherwise...what's the point? And on this morning of all mornings I have decided to do my damndest to give all you wonderful people daily updates from this point forward!

*cue more fanfare*

Of course, chances are I will forget about this resolution very very soon.

The stories on Drudge today are tiring.

I'm tired as all hell from running this morning. We ran something like 4 miles...after I've been sick all week and skipping PT. Let me tell all of you prospective volunteers out there something right now, if you dont like to run, dont sign up without accepting that world of daily pain in front of you for the rest of your enlistment.

I hate running. I keep saying we should have skateboard PT but there's something about it being a 'safety hazard.'

Played more Warhammer last night, got all the way to level 14.5. It's fun times that game, although there are some annoying bits to it such as my computer crashing occasionally. But other than that I'm more than pleased when I can run about on my little gobbo (that's Orc slang for Goblin you noob) and toss heals on passerby. It's nice being a good guy, and the big toughies in shiny Armor love me.

To mention some more about Warhammer, honestly, here's some basics for RvR.

People it works like how you would think WAR really would ok? You've got 4 basic types of classes here

Tanks (big dudes in Armor that look scary)
Melee DPS (guys with stabby weapons that stab you)
Ranged DPS (spell casters and archery people)
Heals (that's me! The Grim-gobbo!)

Obviously it should go something like this

The Horn of Battle Beggining goes off and we all rush forward like crazy people!

Tanks in front
Melee DPS hanging back a bit to rush the flanks of the front lines
Ranged in the back
Healers even MORE in the back (thank you for extra distance on heals Mythic)

This is the optimal formation.

Also for all you dumb people running off on your own because you think you have a better idea of how to fight a war. It's war. You're not a hero. No one is giving out medals for the dumbest person in the fight.

Warhammer is specifically designed to reward people who stick together. This isn't Warlocks in Warcraft who can simultaneously kill 5 enemies in PvP if you have the skills. WAR rewards the side that sticks together and works as a team.

Also, real quick about target priorites.

Please, everyone attack the same thing. And attack them like this:

Squishy DPS: Bright Wizards are soft. I know because I can kill them.
Healers: Because they're healing whatever you're trying to kill originally
Other DPS: because they're squishier than tanks
Tanks: Because they dont do as much damage as you think they do

Now lets talk a little bit about roles.

If your a tank, what is your job? Your job is to protect people, to distract the enemy. To run out into the thick of everything yelling "DEATH TO THE EMPIRE" "KILL DA HUMIES" or some other warcry. This way the enemy gets distracted by you. YOU set the front line. And if the front line for you happens to be in the center of their formation where their ranged DPS is or where their healers are so much the better.

But please, protect your local healers. We're the ones who keep you alive when you go running in like a bloodthirsty madman.

DPS. Your job is to kill. Kill kill kill. But you're not super heroes like Ironman ok? That's the tank. DPSers need to be ninjas. To be felt and not seen. To be the invisble killlers. To flank the enemy and come flying in on their formation and disable their valuables. You're ninjas. You're assasins. And your job is to assasinate all the healers and squishy DPS. Please please please do this. The enemy does it very well because I die a lot. A lot a lot. Becuase some damn Witch hunter always finds me and Executes the hell out of me.

Ranged DPS: Stay out of melee and do what the melee guys are doing. You're the ones who can be the most valuable because if the enemy can't find you then you can keep disabling them.

Healers: Keep your tanks and DPS alive. Don't focus on one target and do as much multitasking as possible. Your job is not to do damage, your job is to keep your team alive. Doing damage always comes third. Priority is like this:

Stay AWAY from the scary bad men on the other team
Heal everyone on your team ESP. other healers.
Damage...occasionally.

Sorcs need an extra amount of love because well...they do. They damage themselves when they are doing their best...and when they are doing their best they can triple the damage output pushed out by any other class. Sorc + healer = a lot of death and pain for the bad guys.

Ahhh rants.

I hope someone reading this someday plays warhammer.

Can't wait to go home and play...1...more...hour....

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Hammers?

So warhammer is out, and more importantly my shiny, no, make that extra shiny Warhammer Collector's Edition box finally arrived yesterday. Even my wife (who tolerates but must secretly disapprove of my video gaming addiction) was impressed by the quality of the box. And of course the hardback art book and graphic novel that came with it.

I spent most of yesterday playing WAR with my awesome guild, Phoenix Ascension (speaking of how we've risen from the ashes of the 'game that shall not be named') which mainly consists of some very close friends from back home and previous gaming fun. We ended up waging war in a massive keep battle that originally began with myself and a friend eventually including about 25 people on ourside and about 30 on theirs.

Unfortunately they had the keep, so most of the experience, although fun, generally resulted in us throwing ourselves against the keep wall and bouncing off of it with incredible speed and velocity. No victory was claimed but we had a lot of fun...at least I did.

Warhammer, unlike a lot of other MMOs that simply let you use other players to sell you things or provide mindless banter in chat channels, actually becomes more enjoyable when you are playing with a large group of people. Right now we've been trying to work out how that fits into our currently small family guild scheme.

So i would like to announce to our small veiwing audience of I believe me, my wife, and mikey, that the Pheonix Ascension destruction guild on the WAR Ungrim server is now openly recruting members who meet the following criteria.

1: You're not a dumb bitch.
2: You have a sense of humor.
3: You are willing to sacrifice one of your family members on the Altar of Death and Technolgy that we might overcome the enemy with greater power. (number two required for number three)
4: You enjoy cookies and are willing to bake some and bring them to guild events.

We can offer you...

1: Loads of fun as we thrash the enemies with various weapons such as axes, swords, mutated arms that look like swords, sticks, teeth, fingernails that haven't been cut in a long time and battering rams made out of the bones of our vicitims!
2: A working vent server that still looks like it belongs to the Eve corporation i was in!
3: Morktaz! Aka Jeff.
4: A chance to get on the ground floor of a guild with great aspirations! (meaning we dont have a website, or forums yet and we want YOU to do all the hard work for us)
5: And most importantly, the chance to kill dwarves. After how annoying midgets have been to all of us in the last 10 years, we all know we're dying to smash some.

In more sane news I have a meet and greet with a 4 star general who is incharge of every Soldier in Europe in about....20 minutes. Hooray!

I hope all of you lovely viewers are doing swimmingly and i must be off now to save the world!

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Games and such

So for those of you who didn't know, I'm a self-proclaimed gamer extraordinaire. I am a certified professional on all things related to games. From first person shooters to MMORPGS and back, I’ve probably played it and have some sort of opinion on it.

This time of year (early fallish) is always the most exciting time in the world of video games because it’s when the BIG yearly titles are coming out. Generally between early September and late November is when all of the games that we’ve been waiting for years, and years, and years to arrive finally do.

September is generally the month of evil waiting.

Personally I’m split between two titles. One I’ve been waiting for a year and a half since I signed up for beta. The other people have been waiting for 10 years since the last title came out.

Namely, Warhammer Online and Fallout 3.

Drastically different games, but both I believe are going to take the gaming world by storm and overshadow most everything else that comes out this year.

Yes, even fucking Blizzards next attempt at clinging to a player base that is generally tired of its game world.

You’ll hear plenty more from me on these two titles I’m sure. Warhammer officially begins for me tomorrow thanks to my pre-ordering skills, and I’m in the process of trying to convince people I know to form a guild with me when it officially releases on Thursday. Fallout 3 is slotted to release for XBOX360 next month on the 28^th.

So expect plenty on these two.

Oh, and also the scariest looking game I’ve seen in a long time.

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