I spoke previously about decluttering the house, it's still a work in progress that we hope to have finished by the end of September. It's amazing what sort of things can just accumulate in drawers and cupboard, on shelves and under beds. I think that half of this stuff we brought with us when we moved from Texas, packing was last minute and hectic with a baby in the house and we just didn't get the chance to really purge a lot of the things that we do not need.
Purging the mind is a more difficult task than the house. I can see the things in the house, I can pick them up and actively throw them out. It does help my mind somewhat to get rid of all of this clutter and that's really why I started. But the other things in my life, how do I weed out the unnecessary?
"Muddy water, let stand - becomes clear"
- Lao Tzu
I find it very difficult to stop and be still for a moment. Obviously most of the day I am running around after a toddler. But times like right now, he's asleep and what am I doing? I'm not being still. I've cleaned the kitchen, loaded the dishwasher, tidied toys, picked up clutter and now I'm sitting and writing this. Of course there are times when these things absolutely have to be done, in their own way they also help me to clear my mind a little as I can focus on the task at hand instead of over-thinking. But still it's hardly relaxing is it?
I don't like to stop, I don't like to be still. That's when my mind starts to go into overdrive and sometimes that alone can be too much to bear. So as a result I don't ever make time to be still, I am rarely focused, often stressed out and tired.
I have begun purging some things. The house, needy people, stressful friendships (both online and in the real world) unnecessary obligations (or at least certainly ones that I do not enjoy anymore). I need to learn how to control my thoughts.
This is something I'm going to really be working on, both in my ongoing therapy sessions and at home.
"If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
- Lao Tzu